Lessons Learned - 2010

As I muse over the year 2010, I think of many events, both good and bad.  I’d like to share some of the lessons I’ve learned this year from those events/milestones.  I thank you dearly for sharing this life-changing year with me.

Jenny B’s Sudden Illness then Death (February 2010)

Learned: Life is so very fragile.  Each day should be seen as a gift.  Live each day with your family as if it were your last.

Discovery of a Lump (March 2010)

Learned: Always do breast self-examinations, even if you recently had a diagnostic mammogram.  No imaging device is 100% accurate.  This is especially true of you are young and have dense breast tissue.  “You never know what you’re walking around with.” – my mother

Cancer Diagnosis (April 2010)

Learned: (1) Sometimes a single phone call can change your life forever.  Fear can grip you and shock can numb you, but faith in God can bring you peace even when you hear devastating news.  Those who don’t know Christ can easily fall apart. (2) There are cancer survivors all around us.  It is both surprising and encouraging to see them ‘come out of the woodwork’ when you announce your own diagnosis.

Mastectomy (May 2010)

Learned:  (1) There may be times when you have to lose something for the sake of something more important.  It is worth it, if only for the peace of mind.  (2) I learned that true love and generosity exist among Christians.  The visits, meals, cards, and prayers anchored me as I began this long journey.

Chemotherapy (June – September 2010)

Learned: (1) It is so important to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel.  When Paul said “the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds” (Philippians 4:7), he meant it literally!  (2) I learned that the human body is such a complicated, delicate, perfectly-balanced system, and that adding poison to it will cause all sorts of strange, long-lasting, side-effects.  (3) Cancer strikes people of all ages, races, and socio-economic levels.

Loss of Hair (June 2010)

Learned: Never underestimate the value of a woman’s hair and her sense of beauty.

My Baby Goes to Kindergarten (August 2010)

Learned: God will provide when you trust him and obey.  I didn’t expect to stop homeschooling Camille and enroll her in Kindergarten, but God gave her such a wonderful teacher and a love of learning.  God always makes a way, and sends messages of reassurance along that way.

Tricia L.’s Recurrence (September 2010)

Learned: (1) Cancer is nothing to take lightly; but God is still bigger!!!  (2) I also learned that there is a special kinship between cancer survivors.

Radiation (October – November 2010)

Learned: A body’s skin does not take well to daily burning with intense rays.  There is much a person will tolerate to ensure the death of all remaining cancer cells.  Medical technology is amazing!

Rest Time (December 2010)

Learned: Quiet times of rest for the body and the mind are critical for good health.  We must take good care of ourselves and allow others to help us when we need it.  It’s OKAY to rest and meditate.  It's an absolute must!

Hair - 12/24

OT Graduation

Congratulations to me!  I graduated from occupational therapy Monday afternoon.  :-)  I will continue to do my exercises for range of motion and my massages to prevent lymph edema.  Good week indeed!

Merry Christmas!!!

I hope you're enjoying your Christmas holiday.  I certainly am!  I've been pretty busy, but I've had my lazy moments as well.  At this point, I should be living leisurely the rest of the week.  :-)

Yesterday, I realized something.  I feel pretty normal again.  There was a time this summer when I couldn't imagine ever feeling "good" again.  I had grown so accustomed to the discomforts.  It's a real blessing.  My energy is up, my appetite is where it should be, my taste buds are back to normal, oh, and I finally retired the wig.  LOL... Yes, I did.  Sunday was my first day going out - even to church - without a wig.  It was scary, but felt really good.  My hair has filled out quite nicely.  It's still pretty straight, but quite a bit longer than when I last posted pictures.  I'll post more very soon.

Merry Christmas to you!!  All my love...

PET/CT Scan Rescheduled

My scan that was originally scheduled for December 21st has been rescheduled for January 4th.  We will meet with Dr. T. on the 5th to get the results.  We had to reschedule because our insurance needed a pre-determination from the doctor's office, and this will take about 14 days to process.  So, I'll wait a bit longer for my wonderful news.

Another Decision To Make

I really should be in bed by now.  It's strange... even though I'm tired and sleepy, I stay up late each night.  Perhaps it's the quiet and solitude of the midnight hour that appeals to me... I don't know.  Anyhow, I thought I'd post an update before climbing into bed.

I met with my plastic surgeon Monday afternoon to discuss my next step...reconstruction.  He quickly informed me that I was no where near scheduling the surgery because my radiation was so significant.  He said I have LOTS of healing to do before we could even talk about reconstruction.  This really burst my bubble because I was actually pleased with the improvement of my skin over the past two weeks.  I was told by the nurse that my radiation was very intense because of the size of my tumor.  She said it was necessary in order to "keep me here".  I just love Carolyn.  She is such a warm and sincere nurse.  Both times I visited this doctor, she sat with me after the exam and consultation and explained things to me from a woman's perspective.  She's worked with Dr. A. for years and has seen all types of situations.  I feel comfortable enough to ask her "what she'd do" if she were in my place.  Also, two of my dear pink sisters have gone to Dr. A. and they were very pleased with his work.

We used today's visit to discuss my surgical options in detail.  Probably too much detail, because my head was spinning when I left from terminology overload.  *LOL*  In a nutshell, I have another tricky decision to make.  Since my tumor was so large and my radiation was so intense, expanders are out of the question.  Too much skin and tissue damage.  However, I am a candidate for three very invasive, yet successful procedures: TRAM flap, latissimus flap, and the DIEP flap.

TRAM flap - removes muscle, tissue and skin from the abdomen to reconstruct.
Latissimus flap - removes muscle and tissue from the back to reconstruct.
DIEP flap - newest state-of-the-art microsurgical procedure that removes tissue from the abdomen without having to remove the muscle.

All three have proven to be highly successful.  The DIEP is the top-of-the-line procedure.  In fact, Dr. A. wouldn't even do it.  Only a select few plastic surgeons in the country do these surgeries.  Luckily, there is one in Memphis.  Surgery would take longer (around 6 hours), but the recovery is a bit shorter.  The TRAM and Latissimus flaps leave permanent, but tolerable, side effects from the donor area (abdomen and back).  Surgery would be around 4 hours and recovery would be longer.  I will continue to do research before my next appt in February, but right now, in the still of the night, I'm leaning toward the DIEP.

At this point, I think the surgery will take place in March...just in time for my 42nd birthday, and the 1-year anniversary of finding my lump.

Alright...good-night faithful readers.

Resting and OT

Since my last post, I have finished radiation, begun healing, and started occupational therapy.  The radiation oncologist thought he may have seen some swelling in my hand, so he referred me to a physical therapist for evaluation.  There was some swelling in my right hand and shoulder, so I'll have 5-6 sessions of OT to improve range of motion and prevent lymphedema. So now, I am finished with treatment.  {Yippee!!!}  I'll rest and have an evaluation with my plastic surgeon next week and my PET/CT scan on Dec. 21st. 

This Is No Joke

This pain is intense!  It's non-stop, and sometimes, it's piercing.  I've got a prescription ointment to use, but it doesn't seem to be helping yet.  Hopefully, after my last treatment on Thursday, I'll be able to treat it more aggressively. 

On a higher note, Thanksgiving was very nice.  My parents, my older brother, and his fiancee came here.  My mother is here for a week.  Thank God!

Ouch!

Well, I did so well for so long, but here comes the pain!!  It kicked in Sunday night, and it hasn't let up.  My skin is very dark, tender, and even feels "leathery" in some spots.  The good news is, tomorrow will be my last day to receive radiotherapy in the sore areas.  Wednesday and thereafter, I'll only receive radiation at the scar.  The doctor gave me a prescription today to begin healing the sore areas.  The end is in sight...only 6 more to go! 

I found this wonderful book at the library titled Living Well Beyond Breast Cancer.  It addresses the holistic approach to healing after all treatment is complete.  I don't plan to read the entire book right now.  I just wanted to browse it before buying it.  If you're fighting breast cancer, I highly recommend it for you as well.

24 Down, 9 To Go

I'm starting to feel the fatigue that builds over time with radiation.  Monday and Tuesday of this week, I was exhausted, even with a nap!  Today, however, I feel pretty good.  My site area is pretty sore and is darkening - as expected.  I will make some adjustments there, but I'm extremely blessed!  I've had no burning or blistering - even at the high dose of radiation.  Oftentimes, the dosage has to be adjusted because the skin cannot handle it.  I am thankful to be so far "above the curve" as my doctor put it a couple of weeks ago.  As always, God is good.

My emotions are so weird.  Since the beginning, I've felt like someone on the outside, watching from afar.  I haven't felt anger or despair, the "why me's" or the devastation; but it seems like I should.  Other cancer patients feel this, but so far I still haven't.  I'm bothered by this "distant" feeling I'm experiencing.  It's like the shock has never worn off.  Sometimes, I feel down, but don't know why.  It's like an overall gray feeling, nothing in particular, but it passes.

I mentioned my hair growth in an earlier post.  Well, I've taken some pictures of my new hair.  It is very straight, so I look balder than I really am.  *LOL*  It's interesting to say the least.

“Fear can keep us up all night long, but faith makes one fine pillow.” - Author Unknown

See all those gray hairs?

Oncologist Visit

Yesterday, I visited with my oncologist - well, actually his nurse practitioner - before I had my treatment.  My white blood count is good.  Thank God, since the kiddos keep getting sick around here.  My iron is very low though.  He talked about putting me on iron supplements soon.  All in all though, I'm doing well. 

My "tell-all" PET/CT scan has been scheduled for December 21st.  This test will be very important as it should be able to detect any cancer spots in my body.  We had to wait until three weeks after all treatment is done to do this test, then I'll meet with Dr. T (oncologist) the day after to discuss the results.  The test is more complicated than I expected.  I can't eat after midnight the night before.  I'll be injected with glucose.  I must have someone to drive me home afterward.  I can't be around people for 1-2 hours afterward, so they will send me out a back door.  I don't quite understand that, but this is the case.  Anyway, I'm looking forward to Dec 22nd when he will tell me that I'm cancer-free - just in time for Christmas!!!  :-)

"Above the Curve"

Well, I'm halfway through radiation treatments, and in the words of my doctor yesterday, I'm doing very well with regard to skin damage.  Yay!!  I asked him is this meant I'd probably not have burning and/or blistering, and he said it's still a little too early to say that for sure, but that I was definitely "above the curve".  He thinks I'm in good shape to have reconstruction in mid-January - if the plastic surgeon says the same and if I choose to.  I felt great all day yesterday, but today was a different story.  I was tired from the time I left radiation and slept a couple of hours today.  Tomorrow, I see my oncologist and have Herceptin after my radiation treatment.  There's a real good chance I won't feel too energetic tomorrow afternoon.  :-)

One-Third Down, Two-Thirds to Go

I've completed 1/3 of my radiation treatments!!  I'm very thankful for not having any skin problems so far.  I've darkened a bit, and my skin/muscles are a little tight under my arm, but no burning.  This morning, I saw the doctor, and he says everything looks good.  I'm losing a little weight, which is very surprising to me considering my increased appetite.  This isn't something they want, but aren't too concerned about it right now.

Friday afternoon, I burned my left hand pretty badly.  I was placing a casserole in the oven and my left hand touched the top heating unit of the over.  Yes...the red coil itself!  It sizzled and I even smelled some burned flesh.  The wound was painful and is still white.  It burned at least two layers of skin and bubbled at first.  I've treated it with peroxide and Neosporin all weekend and kept it loosely covered to prevent infection.  The doctor looked at it this morning and said it looks very good.  It doesn't appear to have any infection, so I should keep doing what I'm doing.  What a relief!  I'm not sure what my white blood count looks like, so I do not welcome infection at all.  Also, I'm so very blessed and relieved that it was not the right hand.  With my lymphadema risk, I shouldn't have any trauma to the right hand or arm - not even a prick or a squeeze.

So, all in all, I'm doing well.  I get very sleepy after each radiation treatment and sometimes throughout the day, but I bounce back pretty quickly.  It's November.  This should mark the last month of  my cancer treatments - prayerfully, forever!  After this month, I rest.  I will start my new "normal", post-cancer life, and live cancer-free forever more...Lord willing.

Too Well??

Radiation is going very well...too well, apparently.  Today, during an exam, my radiation oncologist asked me if I have been using anything on my skin.  When I told him I have been using a natural sunblock that my aunt sent me, he told me that I need to stop using it.  As it turns out, he actually wants me to burn.  Here's why...

When a breast cancer patient has a mastectomy and needs radiation, their chances of recurrence are greatest in the area of the scar - at the skin surface level.  The sunblock would protect that area too much and can prevent the radiation from doing its job as well.  He explained that if I'd had a lumpectomy, the sunscreen would be fine and could help protect the skin from burn.  So, all the other side effects weren't enough.  I need to burn too.  That's just dandy, huh?

Otherwise, I'm feeling okay.  I get tired sometimes and want to sleep longer.  Also, my eyelashes and eyebrows are still shedding and are almost gone.  Surprisingly, that's been tough for me to deal with.  On a happy note, my hair is slowly growing back and my hands and fingernails are starting to regain their natural coloring.  A journey through cancer is different for every person.  I'm starting to see my weak areas now.

On My Heart

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life’s first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

‘til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Surgery in 2011

Now, I know that reconstruction will not happen this year.  Best case, it will be the middle of January.  Dr. Adams' nurse told me if I have no skin damage from radiation, we could schedule it after 6 weeks.  With skin damage, the wait could be a few months.  She said, worse case would be spring 2011.  At least now I know that my December should be pretty pain-free.  :-)

Radiation Treatments

I had my third radiation treatment this afternoon.  They are going well so far, but it is still very early.  For treatment, I have to raise my arms over my head and grasp handlebars, turn my head to the left, and lie still for about 10 minutes while the radiation kills cells within a targeted area of my body.  The treatment is painless, but sometimes, if I focus real hard, I can feel a little tingle in the area being radiated.  So far, I've tolerated it well.  I still have numbness on my right side from my mastectomy in May, but now that I've started radiation, I have some itching way beneath the skin in that area.  That's very uncomfortable since it's still numb, but itchy underneath at the same time.  Plus, I can't scratch that area.  After treatment, I feel slightly tired/woozy for a few minutes, but that's about it for now.  The medical staff is very punctual and friendly.  I'm in and out of there in about 15 minutes each day.

Please keep me in your prayers.  I ask that you pray for precision during my treatments (we certainly don't want any organs affected), for any cancer cells that remain to be zapped quickly and completely, for my skin to tolerate the treatment well for these 7 weeks, and for me to meditate on the Lord instead of allowing life issues to stress me each day.

I have my herceptin infusion this week.  I can't believe it's already been 3 weeks since my last one.  I don't have to see Dr. Tauer this time, so it should be a fairly quick visit - just blood work and treatment.

Race for the Cure - Arkansas

I had BIG fun at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Little Rock this weekend!  I tell you when you wear survivor gear, you really do get the star treatment.  :-)  I plan to participate in the Memphis race on the 30th as well.  Here are some photos:

Radiation Schedule

I had my simulation Friday where I was scanned, marked, and tattooed for my radiation treatments.  The tattoos were small, but painful.  I'm glad I won't have to do that again.  I will begin treatments Wednesday, October 13th.  They will be daily (weekdays) for 33 treatments.  My last treatment should be December 1st - unless I get of schedule for some reason.  I will miss treatment Thursday and Friday of Thanksgiving week because the office will be closed.  That should be the only holiday delay.  The risks are: burning, fatigue, low white and red blood count, and increased risk of lymphadema.  Overall, though, it should be a lot easier on my body than chemo. 

Reality

Today, I had a consultation with the newest member of my medical team, Dr. Farmer.  He was very caring, very thorough, and very young!  He's my radiation oncologist.  It's really amazing to me how these doctors say the same things over and over, but when I'm sitting there hearing it for the first time, it's like I'm the only patient they've ever had.  You'd never know their speech was routine.  :-)  This doctor did something I've never experienced before.  At the end of the visit, he asked me if I'd mind if we had a prayer.  Of course I didn't mind, so he took my hand and prayed for all my doctors (including himself), my treatment, my health, my family, and my marriage.  No kidding!  That was really cool.  Terry and I were surprised by that.

I'll have a simulation Friday where they scan me, position me, mark me, and tattoo me for my treatments.  Afterward, I'll be all set to begin treatments early next week.  I will have 33 rounds instead of 30.  We discussed the risks and the side effects.

Since the beginning, it seems that things have gone at lightening speed; but now, things have slowed down as I approach the end of my treatment.  It's kind of scary as I get close to the "wait and see" mode.  After radiation, Dr. Tauer will do a CT scan and a PET scan (detects any cancer in the body).  This will be the tell-all test.  It should happen soon after Thanksgiving.  I was not told until today that I am a high risk for recurrence.  I already knew that, but no one had come out and said it.  Most people I know discovered their cancer at stage 0, 1 or 2.  I don't think I know anyone who had a tumor as large as mine was and that grew so quickly.  When you add lymph node involvement to the mix, it really is serious business.  Lately, I've been thinking about those things.  I'm not depressed by this... just facing the reality of it all.

On a bright note, I'm feeling really good!  Four weeks post-chemo feels great.  I'm not experiencing much pain at all.  My head is itching quite a bit, so I know it's the hair coming back in.  I still have some fatigue, and that will probably be worse with radiation and months thereafter, but rest should help with that.  So... here are my prayer requests for now:

- continued spiritual strength
- blood pressure (it's been high the past two weeks for some reason)
- for my body to tolerate radiation well
- all cancer will be killed through my treatments
- for God to be glorified through my life each day

Break's Over... Moving On

Well, my three-week recovery period is over.  I met with my oncologist today to discuss the next phase of my treatment.  First though, I had blood work.  My red blood count is still very low.  That's surprising to me.  Also, my BP was high.  Anyhow, the doctor says I'm doing well.  For the past two weeks or so, I've been unusually quiet.  I've been down, but for no apparent reason.  I've considered many causes, but still couldn't put my finger on it.  Dr. T. said it's actually pretty common and it's much like postpartum depression.  He called it post-chemo depression.  Looks like I'm not crazy after all.

I will meet with the newest member of my medical team, my radiation oncologist, next Wednesday.  On that day, we will plan out the entire radiation treatment schedule.  Hopefully, radiation will begin the following Monday (Oct 11) and finish on Friday, Nov 19th.  We will see!

In the meantime, I'll have my post-chemo heart echo-cardiogram this Friday.  I will continue having my Herceptin treatments every three weeks and seeing my oncologist every 6 weeks.  I had a treatment today.  I will have 13 more treatments, which will continue through June 2011.

I'm starting to live by my calendar.  As it looks right now, here's my schedule:

10/1 - Echo
10/6 - Consultation w/ Radiation Oncologist
10/10 - 11/19 - Radiation Treatments (daily)
10/20 - Herceptin treatment
11/10 - Dr. visit and Herceptin treatment
11/24 - Herceptin treatment
12/1 - Dr. visit and Herceptin treatment

So, this is progress.  We'll have to see when the reconstructive surgery will take place.  It will either be just before Christmas, or at the beginning of the year.  I like the idea of having everything done before the end of the year, just so I won't have to carry any major phase over into 2011.  I'll follow the doctors' advice.

Please keep the prayers flowing.

Hair Humor

Summer 2010

What an unusual summer.  All I can say is, "Good riddance, summer", and "Welcome, fall"!!  Just like the deciduous trees, I plan to shed some old toxic cells in order to prepare for fresh, new healthy ones.  Yeah, that's pretty much how you feel after 8 rounds of chemo.  :-)

Just Some Rambling

It was nice to have a Thursday without having to go to the clinic.  :-)  I love the staff there, but it was nice to not need a treatment or a shot this week.  Unfortunately, this will be short-lived.  I'll be there at least every 3 weeks for the next year.

Dr. T said if my white blood count is going to drop, it will take about two weeks for it to do it.  Now that it's been 9 days since my last chemo, I'm being careful. Against Terry's recommendation, I went to the hospital this morning to sit with a dear family of mine as my friend was in surgery.  Tricia is another cancer survivor, times 2.  Yes, this is her 3rd bout with cancer, but this time, it was pancreatic.  Notice, I said "was".  The surgery was very complicated, lasted over 8 hours, but is believed to be successful.  Yay!!!  Cancer-free times three.  Praise God!!  Anywho, I went to the hospital today.  Not only do I have to avoid germs, but also cuts and scratches.  This should be an interesting couple of weeks.

I'm doing well tonight.  My pain was unexpectedly bad on Monday, but got a little better each day thereafter.  Since I didn't have the Neulasta shot last week, I didn't expect the pain.  My side effects right now, other than the pain, include discoloration of feet, numbness, swelling, oh and I'm losing eyelashes and eyebrows too.  On the bright side, my hands are starting to look a bit normal and I see fuzz growing on my head.  :-)  I can't wait to see how my new hair looks.  I'm sure it will be curly, but I wonder about the color.  As long as it's not gray, I'm okay with it.  I still crave lots of water and have low energy level.

I think I will begin my post-chemo detox on Sunday.  I just need to find one item that I haven't been able to find yet - dried hydrangea root tea.  Hmmm... I wonder how much different I'll feel.  I'm told I'll feel different from the start.  If you're curious about my detox, you can read about it here.

I know I'm rambling, but I took a pain pill about an hour ago and I'm getting sleepy.  I have nothing planned for tomorrow morning, so I plan to sleep in!  Have a wonderful weekend!

Chemo = Finished

Today, I had my last chemotherapy infusion.  Eight rounds are DONE!!  I didn't ring the bell.  I didn't let them make a big announcement in the treatment room.  I just celebrate in my heart.  Back in May with I was preparing for this phase of treatment, it seemed like September 9th was a world away!  Well, we made it.

 
I say "we" because I could not have made it without you all.  The prayers, the encouraging words, the meals, the cards, the visits, the calls.  Every gesture of love has been so uplifting to me.  My mother has been there for me in every way, and I can only imagine how difficult it is to see your child go through a cancer journey.  She has been a pillar of strength for me.  My father has been encouraging too.  He couldn't come to tend to me like my mother has, but his prayers surely reached God's ears.  :-)  And, oh... my network breast cancer survivors!!  You ladies are priceless!!  Thank you for sharing your story with me and blessing me in ways only YOU know.  I must call you by name: Regina, Tricia, LeAn, Liz, Rhonda, Veronica, Denise W., Janice, Joan, Tessie, Bettye, Corinne, Carla, Denise H. (hang in there).  I could go on and on, but you know who you are.  :-)  I love you all so much.  Thank you.

Dr. Tauer told me today that I have handled the treatments SO very well!!!  He said it as if that's not so usual.  I've come to love the workers at The West Clinic very much.  So many of them are "Jesus" to their patients.  Their warm smiles and greetings are sincere.  They cry with their patients and celebrate with their patients.  It's a great place, indeed.  My blood work numbers will slowly but surely return to normal.  I have been experiencing hot flashes, so I've been told.  Only time will tell if this "menopause" is temporary or permanent. For now, I will allow my body to recover for three weeks, then see Dr. T. on Sept 29th to check blood work and schedule radiation treatments.  I'll undergo radiation for 6 weeks (30 rounds) and continue having my Herceptin infusion every three weeks - for a whole year.  Then, there's reconstruction which will happen after radiation.  Yes, chemo is finished, but there is still quite a bit more to this journey.  I'm just so blessed to be covered in prayer through it.

Strange Feelings

Tonight, I thought back to the day I was diagnosed with cancer.  It was a Monday morning and the news hit me like a ton of bricks.  I cried a bit off and on the first 2-3 hours, but mostly I felt dazed.  I couldn't concentrate on anything.  I was shaky.  I started grinding my teeth.  Simply put, I just KNEW I was dreaming.  This lasted until I laid down for a nap that afternoon.  When I was awakened by a confirmation call from the West Clinic for a consultation with my oncologist, it was confirmed for me that this indeed was NOT a dream.  Since then, I haven't shed a tear nor felt anything like those first few hours.

Now that I'm about to take my last chemotherapy, I'm still a bit emotionally nonreactive.  I'm glad to be coming to the end of this phase of treatment, but I'm not giddy about it as most would expect.  I'm not nervous about radiation.  I just read a lot in order t know what to expect.  Sometimes, this emotional stagnation concerns me.  Other times, I believe it's God strengthening me (answers to the many prayers).  I guess, in a nutshell, I go through each day not feeling like this is any "big deal".  See how strange that sounds?

Big Week

This week is finally here.  This Thursday, September 9, will be my last chemotherapy treatment!!  Thank you, Lord, for the strength to make it this far and for the family and friends who have helped me, encouraged me, and prayed for me through these treatments.

I will give my body time to recover before meeting with Dr. T in three weeks to discuss my radiation therapy regimen.  Progress...gotta love it!

Naproxen

One pill?  12 hours of relief?   

We'll see!!

Seven Down, ONE to Go!!

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Today was long, but I did well.  I just feel a little tired tonight.  Thank you so much for the prayers.  I have only one more chemo treatment to go!  YAY!!!

All my blood work looks great!!  My red blood counts are better, but still quite a bit lower than normal.  The doctor says this is normal after getting off the Adriamycin, and it will continue to improve each week.    :-)

I was told to wait until after radiation to do my juice fast/detox.  My liver and kidney numbers look great, so he doesn't think I should be concerned about detoxing so quickly after chemo.  I still may do it, but moderately.  I want to see my nails, feel, hands, and hair restored.

Good Week

I am having a pretty good week.  I still have pain, but it's not bad enough to warrant pain medicine during the day.  I realize it will be a while before I feel like my old self - probably even a year after all treatment is complete.  I've heard conflicting opinions about the effects of radiation therapy.  Some say it's a "breeze" while others say it will leave you feeling exhausted.  I'm optimistic.  I think it will be better than chemo.  Come to think of it, the people who said it was exhausting didn't have to have chemo; while those who had chemo said it was a "breeze".  Hmmm...  Round 7 is Thursday.  Bring it on!

"On Christ, the solid rock, I stand

all other ground is sinking sand.

All other ground is sinking sand."

Recent Photos

Okay, so I felt a little brave this evening.  Here is some rare footage of me without my head coverings.

Terry and Me...Trading Places - He's so silly!

Glass Half Full

People usually dwell on the many negatives of chemotherapy, but I’d like to list my TOP 5 BENEFITS of undergoing chemotherapy.

#5 – Family members are more likely to help with housework, often without even asking.

#4 – Saying “I don’t feel like cooking tonight” is not frowned upon.

#3 – Frequent visitors!!

#2 – Sense of helplessness equals greater dependence on God. It’s comforting to rest in His arms, knowing that He’s in complete control.

#1 – Nothing beats the summer heat like a bald head under the A/C!!

Have a wonderful week! I certainly intend to. :-)

I'm So Happy

I had my 6th round of chemotherapy today.  I only have 2 more left!!  Isn't that wonderful???  The day was very long, but I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

• My blood work looked good (iron is still low, but I'm working on that).
• My heart and lungs sounds clear.
• My liver and kidney numbers look good.
• Blood pressure and temperature are great.

All in all, Dr. T. thinks I'm coasting toward the end of chemo treatments with no problems at all.  The pain is the only problem, but it's only a temporary side effect - like all the others.  Dr. T. prescribed a steroid to take the edge off the pain tomorrow and following.  I haven't decided yet if I'll take it.  I don't like feeling bloated and I certainly don't want to LOOK boated either.  He encouraged me to not be afraid of taking pain meds.  He said I 'don't have to be in pain all day'.  Still, I'd rather endure the pain in order to preserve my organs.  I know... that 's just me.  :-)

"I will be glad and rejoice in you; I will sing praise to your name, O Most High." - Psalm 9:2

My Anthem

This song has always been a favorite of mine, but now, it takes on a whole new meaning.  I call this my anthem.

In Christ Alone
By Stuart Townsend

 

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt of life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life’s first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
‘til He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Doing Better Today

Today was the first day that I did not have extreme pain.  The pain was only dull today, so I'm a thankful girl!!  Despite the body aches, I had a pretty busy week.  I registered the girls for school this week and got everything in order for next week - our first week of school.  I even did some light shopping this week.  :-(  Anyone who knows me well knows that I do NOT like shopping.  Pain or no pain, life goes on, right?  However, there were a couple of meetings I didn't attend because I was just too tired.  By evening, the pain worsens and all my good intentions fly right out the window.

Treatment #6 (can you believe it?) will be next week.  I'm starting to see the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel.  I know radiation therapy and reconstruction still awaits but I hear they're SOOOO much easier than chemo.  Either way, God has brought me this far, so I know I can make it through.  Hey, thanks for sharing this journey with me by the way.  ((hug))

New Treatment Schedule

Now that I'm on the Taxol for four rounds, I am also receiving Herceptin for almost a year.  I received my first dose of Herceptin last Thursday with my chemo treatment and will have an infusion every week until I finish chemo.  After that, I will receive Herceptin every 3 weeks for a year.  So, tomorrow, I go back to the clinic for blood work and another dose of Herceptin.

After I complete chemo (September 9th is my LAST treatment...YAY!!), I will rest for three weeks, then visit with Dr. T to schedule my radiation treatments.  Hopefully, I will be able to have radiation treatments at Baptist Collierville.  That would be so much more convenient since I'll be going every day.  After six weeks of radiation, I can schedule my reconstruction surgery if my skin isn't too damaged from the radiation.

Still a long road ahead, but I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.  Today, I ran a few errands here in C'ville.  It was so very hot, but I got them done.  I came home, shed the turban, and took a nap!  I'm aching too badly to be at church right now, but I certainly plan to attend Sunday morning.  I knew this summer would be like none other, but I've made it.  School starts next week.  More changes... 

Pain and Praise

Yes, indeed, the chemo drugs are very different.  This one doesn't make me feel as "yucky", but boy do I hurt!!  It's like I've been in a car accident and I hurt whenever I'm not medicated.  This is not good for me since I don't like taking medicine - especially on top of the chemo drugs!  Yet, this is my plight, at least for now.  The pain seems to be mainly in my bones.  Even when I'm still, I can sometimes feel the pain moving through my bone marrow.  Please continue to pray for me.

My spirits, however, are still good.  I'm getting so close to finishing this chemo.  That encourages me so much!  My mother is still here with me week in and week out.  What a doll!  My church family and my homeschool family are so generous and kind.  The meals may seem like small acts of kindness, but they really do help financially as well.  I am so thankful for each of you.  I'm especially grateful for those of you who are praying for me.  I can still feel the prayers.  I know that they are sustaining me through this.  God is so good!

New Chemo Drugs Today

Hello faithful readers,

Today was round 5 of my chemotherapy.  I am on two new drugs for the remainder of my regimen - Taxol and Herceptin.  I will have them both every two weeks, but come weekly for the Herceptin.  After round 8, I'll continue with herceptin for about a year, but only every 3 weeks.

Good news: I feel pretty good today - during the infusion and after coming home.  I was at the clinic for 8 hours!!!  I had lab work, doctor appt, then 5.5 hours in the treatment room.  In the future, treatment should be slightly shorter, but still a very long trip to the clinic.

Bad news: Taxol get very bad reviews for day 3 and beyond.  It is a very different drug than adriamycin.  While AD attacks fast-growing cells, Taxol attacks fast-dividing cells.  At least, that's my understand.  The new drug is supposed to cause severe body and muscle aches that only increases in severity with each treatment.  It should also cause sudden additional hair loss.  So, goodbye eye brows and arm hair! 

All in all, I'm optimistic.  I'm just glad I feel as good as I do on Day 1.  I know each drug carries with it a different pattern though.  Herceptin doesn't have very many side effects.  :-)

Chemo Nails

Wanna know what chemo-fingernails look like, before they come off? Well, here they are:

The thumbs are the worst.  From what I'm told, the darkness will continue to grow upward then the entire nail will detach.  Also, the flipside of my hands and feet are dark.  I didn't take a picture of those.  :-)  Now, let me go find some opaque nail polish!

Strength?

I don’t get out much these days. In fact, I’ve missed worship and bible class way too much since May. Yet, sometimes – when I feel pretty good – I get up, put on my wig, put on some clothes, put on some makeup, put on a smile, and head to church. Without fail, someone will comment about how “good I look” and how “strong I am”. I politely smile and thank them, but then I wonder about the second statement. Side note: I don’t worry so much about the first statement because I know people know my condition and know I’m really bald underneath the wig, so it’s most fitting to say to someone going through chemo, “you look so good”. I appreciate and understand those words – really, I do. It’s the second statement that leaves me puzzled.

What do they see that they perceive as strength? Is it because I’m there? Is it because I’m smiling and not falling to pieces? Well, I tell you the truth…I’m not strong. If you don’t believe me, ask Regina…Tricia…Veronica…my mother…Terry. Ha! If people only knew. The ONLY thing that gets me through each treatment, each new side effect, each new deficiency, each DAY is the Lord. It is “in my weakness that His strength is made perfect” (2 Corinthians 12:9). When I say that your prayers are sustaining me, I truly mean it. Thank you for them! The simple truth is, I am weak. I’m just depending on God to carry me through this journey.

I’ll get off my soap box and get back to bed. I just had this on my heart and wanted to stop and give credit where credit was due. God bless!

More Side Effects... Oh My!

Wow! What a week it's been.  The body aches slowly improved, but on Thursday morning, I had a new side effect that really caught me off-guard...trouble swallowing.  So now, I'm on two more medicines to remedy esophagitis.  It feels like a closure down in my esophagus and it hurts to swallow any type of solids.  At one point today, it even hurt to swallow liquids too!  This was a bit scary, so I called a GI friend of ours from church and he assured me that I should be okay if it's treated now.  He doesn't think it will close up completely.  He even called in an additional suspension that should help tremendously.  I'll pick it up tomorrow.  :-)  Thanks for the prayers, calls, and words of encouragement.

Feeling Not So Good

Recovery this time has been a challenge.  What used to be a 4 day recovery is turning into a 7+ day recovery this time.  The Neulasta shot is wreaking havoc on my body this week.  I feel like I'm recovering from a car accident.  My body aches (chest, back, neck, head) continuously.  My nurse called in a  pain pill today, so I hope to have a good night's sleep tonight.  Lately, the pain has been waking me when the ibuprofen wears off.  What makes this more challenging is that pain medicine is not good for a chemo patient because the liver is already working overtime to remove the toxins from the chemotherapy.  Acetaminophen is especially dangerous for me right now, and ibuprofen should be limited as well.  So, I'm living with the pain most of the day and only take meds twice a day. Also, my taste buds still have not recovered so my appetite is not back yet.  I'm whining too much today, so I'll end this post by saying...

GOD is good!!! No matter what!!!

Neulasta Cost

After my trip to Arkansas, I had several insurance EOBs that had come in the mail.  The little shot I receive the day after chemo - Neulasta - costs $9,500 a pop!!!  Yes, you read that correctly.  It's almost 3 times the cost of the chemo itself.  I am so grateful to God for medical insurance.  Now, I wonder what on earth happens to those without?

Halfway There!!

Round 4 was today and it went okay.  I'm just so happy to be finished with adriamyacin and cytoxin.  This marks my halfway point in chemo.

My red blood count had not dropped any further, so I was not denied treatment.  YAY!  I'll be sure to continue with my iron-rich foods between treatments. Thank you for your prayers.  My mother has been a real gem (as usual).  She cooks so many healthy foods for us and works so hard around the house.  Also, my aunt cooked me some beets, and yes, I ate most of them.  Thank you!!

Prayers

Yesterday and today have been pretty good.  In fact, I felt so good yesterday, I decided to go to Wal-Mart to shop for some school supplies.  Not the best idea!

My chemotherapy schedule was setup to be very aggressive.  The first four rounds consist of the two toughest chemo drugs on the market.  After that, I'll receive a third drug for rounds 5-8, which, according to one of my nurses "should be a piece of cake after getting through the first four".  Needless to say, I'm dreading round 4.  Since these treatments accumulate, round 4 shuold be the worst.  Please remember me in your prayers.  Additionally, my red blood count needs to improve.  Before round 3, it was down to 28 and it can't afford to drop anymore before round 4.  I'm trying to eat more iron-rich foods, but my appetite is not what it should be.  Please be in prayer about that too.

I thank you so much for your prayers.  They are truly sustaining me. My doctors say I'm handling the treatments very well.  That can only be attributed to God and His goodness.

Round 3

Round 3 has really kicked my tail.  Usually, I feel almost normal by day 5, but today has been tough.  I had planned to go to Arkansas with my mother today, but I just couldn't do it.  We'll have to try again tomorrow morning. 

I may have overdone it yesterday by going with Terry to take the girls to camp.  I'm glad I went though.  The campground is beautiful!!!  To think, I had planned to go to camp this year as a staff member.  My, how things changed.  This summer is unlike any other, but at least the girls are having some normalcy.  :-)

Three Down, Five to Go

Round 3 was pretty good, on-site.  I didn't try to read anything while receiving my treatment, so the loopiness was better.  However, I've felt slightly queasy with a light headache today, which is unusual for Day 1.  I took a Tylenol and will take an anti-nausea pill tonight. 

In our family, we traditionally take the birthday person out to dinner at the place of their choice.  Today is Terry's birthday, but we're going to have a wonderful meal here at home.  I'd feel guilty if it were one of the kids, but I know Terry doesn't mind.  In fact, he probably even prefers it this way.

Well, I better log off now.  Reading doesn't feel too good right now.  Thanks for your continued prayers!

Just What I Needed

For the first time, I am really dreading my next treatment.  This will only be treatment #3, but I know so very well how badly I'll feel next weekend.  The treatment room makes me feel queazy.  In fact, just thinking about the treatment makes me feel queazy at times.  I'm still positive, but I'm starting to respect the power of these chemo drugs.  They really are torture to a person's body - both physically and mentally.

I've had a very disturbing week as we lost out nephew tragically on Father's Day in Dallas.  He was a police officer, but more importantly, he was a wonderful person - a Christian husband and father.  My heart is so heavy, especially for his wife and kids, his parents, and his siblings.  We went to Dallas for the funeral Friday and Saturday, and it was very exhausting. 

Now, I'm in Selma.  This trip has been good for me.  Though it is very short, I'm enjoying the fresh country air, the quiet, and the fellowship with family.  Perhaps I should come here again to re-energize before a treatment.  After the week we've had, this was just what I needed.  :-)

This Too Shall Pass

After a couple of days of increased hair shedding, Terry put me out of my misery Saturday night with the clippers.  Now, at least I won't be collecting long strands, but teeny-weeny ones instead.  It was an emotional event.  My mother, Sarah, and Camille watched and Sarah took a couple of pictures for my private journal.  Other than that, I've had typical Days 3 and 4.  I haven't felt my best, but I'm looking forward to the coming week when my energy returns and I feel more myself.

My family has been so wonderful.  I've handled things much better than I expected because of their support.  It's comforting knowing that this is "only a season" as my mother puts it.  I hope God gives me the opportunity to bless others because of this in the future.  He certainly has blessed me with wonderful survivors to share their stories with me and help me on this journey. 

Round 2 Today

Today's treatment felt "stronger".  I felt more heavy-headed from the start and feel woozy now...like car sickness.  I still have my hair though.  Sorry for the short update, but looking at the screen is not good right now.  Thanks for your continued prayers. 

Oh, and my thumb nails are discolored from the first chemo.  The doctor said I will probable lose one of them. :-(

"I Hope You Dance" by Susan and sons

My homeschooling friend, Susan, dedicated this performance to me and two others who are currently fighting cancer.  I am deeply touched and honored to post it here. 

(Click the word "performance" above to view the dance.)

Look What I Can Do!

I've been doing my post-mastectomy range of motion exercises, and all of a sudden, I could bring my right arm almost to my ear.  Yippee!!!  Thanks for your help, Susan.  :-)

Victorious!

I have a theme song.  It expresses perfectly how I feel about this cancer fight.  The name of the song is "Victorious" by Mandisa.  I wasn't able to find the video, but here are the lyrics:

If You could send a burning bush to Moses;
Lead Your people home through a parted sea;
Give a boy the strength to defeat Goliath;
I know You will always take care of me.

With You on my side, I am victorious.
With You on my side, I’ve got nothing to fear.
So I can walk through this valley with confidence,
Knowing You will deliver me.

If You could raise the dead bones of Lazarus;
If You could feed five-thousand with a couple fish and a loaf of bread;
And in the middle of a stormy night You can walk on water;
I know, I know, I know nothing’s out of Your hands.

With You on my side, I am victorious.
With You on my side, I’ve got nothing to fear.
So I can walk through this valley with confidence,
Knowing You will deliver me.

Better Days

I'm starting to feel better this evening.  Days 3-5 were unexpected, but I hope I'm starting my energy climb now for this round.  At least I'm not nauseous too!!  {Thank you, Lord!}

Day 3 - Unexpected

Today was much different.  I've been tired, with a headache, and no appetite today.  Also, my taste buds are out of whack.  Perhaps I shouldn't have assumed this round would be a breeze after the first two days.  I'm not sure if it's due to the chemo or the Neulasta injection.  Maybe both.  I'm going to try to get a good night of sleep and hope for a better day tomorrow.

One Down, Seven to Go

I've completed my first round of treatment and I'm doing okay.  I've had only a couple mild side effects, but nothing to slow me down so far.  This was no surprise since I've been told that each rounds tends to be tougher on the patient.

I will have a pretty slow weekend.  The Neulasta injection I received today may give me some trouble over the next few days.  I've been told that it can cause body aches like the flu for days after the shot.  We shall see.

I bought this t-shirt and can't wait to wear it proudly!

 "...the joy of the LORD is your strength."- Nehemiah 8:10

Ready...Set...

...GO!!!

My bag is packed and I'm ready to "fight like a girl"!!!  I have word searches, a novel, my bible, a fleece throw, snacks, and anything else I may need to pass the time.  Hopefully, I'll just sleep.  :-)  I feel great and I expect to sail through these treatments. 

Either Terry or I will post occasionally. 

Chemo Drugs

Happy June!  I'll be starting chemo in only two days.  I'm not thrilled about pumping poison into my body, but hey... it's only temporary.  Here are the drugs I'll be receiving:

Adriamycin and Cytoxan (first 4 rounds)
Taxol and Herceptin (last 4 rounds)

Thanks for the prayers!

Feeling Good

Aside from some soreness and numbness, I'm feeling good these days!  :-)  For several days now, I've only had Tylenol 1-2 times per day.  Now, I only take it at evening time.  I'm expecting a wonderful weekend at home with family before the dreaded CHEMO begins. 

This summer, I hope to do some light traveling during those "in between" weeks, if my energy cooperates.  I plan to continue working from home this summer even though I may not feel my best each day.  Surely if other women can get up, dress, and drive to work while on chemo, I can log into my laptop and teach a class from the comfort of my home.  I have a wonderfully supportive dean and and work team ready to help me out if things get a little tough this summer.  Again, I am so blessed.

I've been told that chemo brings about a crippling fatigue that cannot be described.  I can handle it though.  I know God will bring me through it, and it's only temporary.  Have a great weekend!!!

My Chemo Plan

Now that all the surgery and preliminary tests have been done, a chemo regimen is now in place.  *sigh* 

First of all, I still had a little drainage this morning, so the surgeon extracted it.  He insists that I wait another week before beginning chemo.

My visit with Dr. Tauer went well.  He explained the pathology report again and prescribed 8 rounds of aggressive chemotherapy (every two weeks).  I don't remember the medication names (sounded a bit Greek to me), but when I find out, I may post it here.  Anyway, I'll be on two different medications the first 4 rounds, then a 3rd medication the final four rounds.  They will cause loss of hair and fatigue, but nausea should be controlled.  Anti-nausea meds will be given before each treatment, plus I'll come in for a shot the day following each treatment to keep my white blood count up.  The Herceptin treatments will begin with the final four treatments and another year thereafter. I will have my treatments on Thursdays, beginning June 3rd.

Also, I had a CT scan to see if there were any additional "spots" visible then re-visited with the doctor.  Dr. Tauer came in the room and proudly announced that my scan was "perfect"!  :-)

Chemo Delay

This morning's appt with the surgeon revealed lots of swelling and excess drainage in the surgical area.  The tube was still needed, but had to be taken out because of the infection.  Therefore, he did a needle aspiration to withdraw the fluid and wants to see me again Wednesday morning before my other appt. to see if the accumulation has lessened.

The surgeon will not release me for chemo treatments until this infection/fluid stuff is resolved. He said it could be about 2 weeks before I can begin chemo now.  I will still meet with the oncologist Wednesday morning to go over my chemo regimen, but nothing will begin until there is no infection.

Tube-Less!!!

Just as I thought, there was some infection at the tube site.  The doctor took it out (EXCRUCIATING), but now I'm finally tubeless.  I feel "free".  :-)

I was given a prescription for an antibiotic and told to take it easy.  I'll go back Monday to make sure there is no swelling.

Infection??

Last night was long and painful.  I had pain, headache, low fever, and other unusual symptoms.  This morning I peeked at my drain tube site and it appears to be infected.  So, it looks like it will come out today after all.  Drain output is good though (only 20 CCs yesterday), so that shouldn't be a problem.  I guess 2.5 weeks was just too long for it to be in there.  I'll go to the surgeon's office at 2pm.  Wish me luck!

Still Draining

Not only is the drain tube still in, but the drainage has increased quite a bit.  The pain has increase too.  I called the doctor today to see if this could mean infection, and he said it's probably due to increased activity.  So, I will take it easy... again... and hopefully have it out by Monday.  My daily accumulation has to be below 30CCs for 24 hours before it can come out.

A Wig That Might Work

Today, I went wig shopping with the girls.  We selected one that will likely work.  It will just take some getting used to.  Right now, I think it could use some thinning out.  Let me know what you think.

Drain Tube

Well, I didn't get to have my drain tube removed today.  It's still draining a bit much, so we'll wait until Wednesday or Thursday.

Deeply Rooted

I had to miss church again today, but I came across this scripture in Jeremiah that really spoke to me this morning.

Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord

and whose trust is the Lord.

For he will be like a tree planted by the water,

that extends its roots by a stream

and will not fear when the heat comes;

but its leaves will be green,

and it will not be anxious in a year of drought

nor cease to yield fruit.

Jeremiah 17:7-8

This will no doubt be a year of drought (challenges), but I think - well, hope - I'm deeply rooted and will bear fruit even through this season.

More Info About Pathology Report

I had a follow-up appointment with the surgeon today.  Turns out, there was more to the pathology report than he relayed on yesterday.  The main tumor measured 6.2 cm, but there was another cancerous tumor in the first lymph node he removed.  It measured 2.7 cm.  He could see where another lymph node was enlarged too.  The pathology report revealed cancer cells within the lymphatic vessels (they transport fluid to the lymph nodes), so he's certain that more nodes were infected than the report shows.  He has asked a doctor in the pathology department to look at those nodes again...more thoroughly.

Bottom line, I will need 30 rounds of radiation of the entire lymphatic region after my chemotherapy.  This is for two reasons: (1) the tumor was so large, and (2) the cancer has spread into the lymphatic region.  Terry asked him if he had any idea how many rounds of chemo I'd need.  He said probably 6-8 rounds.  This is only the beginning of a long road.

The surgeon also removed one of the drain tubes today.  It didn't hurt at all!  He said everything else looks great.

The oncologist's office called this afternoon to schedule my pre-chemo bloodwork and office visit with Dr. Tauer.  This will take place on May 26th.  I may have a CT/PET scan that day to see if cancer is in any other area(s) of my body.  (Now, who could ever be "ready" for a test like that?" I will probably begin chemo that week too.  I think I'll choose Fridays if given the option.

Hey...God is still good and He is definitely able!  Love you all.

Pathology Results

I just spoke with Dr. Patterson about the pathology report from last week's surgery.  The tumor measured 6 cm, which puts me in the Stage 3 category.  In all, only 2-3 lymph nodes appear to have been cancerous.  I was VERY happy to hear this!!  Praise God for that bit of news.  I have a follow-up visit with Dr. Patterson tomorrow, and he said he will probably be taking out one of the drain tubes.

He also told me that I shouldn't start chemo until 3 weeks post-op, so that will be in about 2 weeks.  I'm glad to wait that amount of time because I still have not gotten a wig or any turbans.  Plus, I'll be less sore by then.  All in all... good report!

Edited at 9:26pm to Add: 
I hope I didn't mislead anyone with my earlier posting.  The good news about the lymph nodes only suggests that things are not any worse than we discovered during surgery.  The pathology report only confirmed that there were not additional lymph nodes affected with cancer.  This did not retract anything said at surgery.

Pathology Report

I called the surgeon's office this morning and was told that the pathology report just came in today.  He will call me this afternoon to go over the results.  A copy is being faxed to the oncologist this morning.

Painful Reminders

I've had unusual soreness last night and today.  I don't know if it's the weather or the fact that I over-did it a bit yesterday.  This body keeps reminding me that I've had major surgery.  I probably need to take a nap today and get of my feet for the rest of the day.

Emotionally, I'm a bit down too.  I removed the surgery tape from the incision sites today.  I'm so thankful Terry was with me and he loves me so.  It was hard for me to look at, but as my mother reminded me, all this is worth it.

On a happy note, today is my mother's birthday.  Terry and I got her a Gould's massage to use sometime this spring or summer, a balloon, and a card.  I am so thankful to have her and my Aunt Mary here to care for me after my surgery.  I am so blessed!

Rest and Recovery

I'm still resting and recovering from my surgery.  I feel pretty good, but still depend on the pain pills every 4 hours.  I will visit the surgeon on Wednesday morning for him to possibly remove one of the drain tubes.  Let me apologize from the start for my choppy wording.  My thinking is a bit sporadic.

The girls are doing much better now that I'm home and sound and look more myself.  I'm being carefully guarded by my caregivers.  :-)  Let's just say, they're waiting on my hand and foot.  This is very strange for me since I'm usually the one running around doing things for everyone else.

I expected to hear from the surgeon yesterday about my pathology report, but did not.  Hopefully I will hear from him today.  From that report, we'll know the condition of the other lymph nodes and I can be properly staged.

Here is some pictures of me with Sarah.  They were taken this morning.

Recuperating

I am in the hospital room feeling pretty good right now.  This morphine is amazing!  I won't be on long, but wanted to pop in and say hello.  Thank you for the prayers.  I am doing well.

Dr. Patterson will be releasing me tomorrow (Thursday).  I will have pain meds and exercise instructions for my right arm.  Since the lymph nodes were removed, I'm at higher risk for developing lymphadema (sp?).  So, exercise will be important.  Never again can I have blood taken or blood pressure taken on that arm.  Hopefully, we'll get the pathology report by Friday.  This will be instrumental in my treatment plan.  From that report, chemo will be prescribed and possibly radiation too (of the lymph node area).  The journey has only begun.

I'm a little groggy, so I'm outta here for now.  Hugs!!

last night

Overall, Karen had a very good night. She was able to go to the restroom with some assistance. Her appetite has been pretty good. She's able to feed herself. She still has a lot of pain and swelling. We plan to stay at the hospital one more night. Please continue to pray for complete healing.

Surgery Update

She's doing fine.  Three of the ten lymphs nodes were affected with cancer cells, so the doctors removed all ten. They are going to let her rest for a while and they want her to eat a little something this evening. I'll stay with her tonight to ensure things go well. She will be in recovery for about an hour. I'll keep everyone posted later.

Terry

Surgery Eve

The bag is packed, the pre-op instructions have been read, the prayers are being lifted up.  Tomorrow is surgery day, and I'm as ready as can be expected.  Today was a bit overwhelming with many things to do, but I'm still optimistic and positive.  Terry will probably update the next few times.  Thank you so much for your prayers and support!

All My Love,
Karen

"Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's." 

- 2 Chronicles 20:15 -

Big, Beautiful Surprise!!!

Tonight, I was blown away by a surprise party given to me by 17 of the ladies from my congregation.  It was fabulous... like a birthday party!!  We called it our "Cancer Schmancer Party".  (Thanks Fran Drescher for the catchy name).  It was at Chili's.  There were food, laughs, gifts, conversations, and lots of love.  I am just so blessed!

This afternoon, Terry asked me out to dinner.  It was funny because I had the same idea.  Nothing seemed out of the ordinary since we were going to Chili's here in Collierville.  I was so un-suspecting that I didn't even notice the familiar faces as we approached the group.  I was awakened to reality when I heard a booming "SURPRIIISSE!!!!"  I received some very nice, practical gifts.  It was like they knew all the things I loved.  Anyone who knows me well knows that I love books, surfing the net, candles, and long baths.  I received gifts that echoed each of those passions.  Some of the ladies even surprised me with tennis goodies.  I've always wanted to play on a tennis league and had just decided this week that I'm going to join a league when I'm all well.

What a wonderful gesture!  I am so humbled by it.  :-)