Too Well??

Radiation is going very well...too well, apparently.  Today, during an exam, my radiation oncologist asked me if I have been using anything on my skin.  When I told him I have been using a natural sunblock that my aunt sent me, he told me that I need to stop using it.  As it turns out, he actually wants me to burn.  Here's why...

When a breast cancer patient has a mastectomy and needs radiation, their chances of recurrence are greatest in the area of the scar - at the skin surface level.  The sunblock would protect that area too much and can prevent the radiation from doing its job as well.  He explained that if I'd had a lumpectomy, the sunscreen would be fine and could help protect the skin from burn.  So, all the other side effects weren't enough.  I need to burn too.  That's just dandy, huh?

Otherwise, I'm feeling okay.  I get tired sometimes and want to sleep longer.  Also, my eyelashes and eyebrows are still shedding and are almost gone.  Surprisingly, that's been tough for me to deal with.  On a happy note, my hair is slowly growing back and my hands and fingernails are starting to regain their natural coloring.  A journey through cancer is different for every person.  I'm starting to see my weak areas now.

On My Heart

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless babe
This gift of love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save
‘Til on that cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For every sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ I live

There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then bursting forth in glorious Day
Up from the grave He rose again
And as He stands in victory
Sin’s curse has lost its grip on me
For I am His and He is mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life’s first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His hand

‘til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand

Surgery in 2011

Now, I know that reconstruction will not happen this year.  Best case, it will be the middle of January.  Dr. Adams' nurse told me if I have no skin damage from radiation, we could schedule it after 6 weeks.  With skin damage, the wait could be a few months.  She said, worse case would be spring 2011.  At least now I know that my December should be pretty pain-free.  :-)

Radiation Treatments

I had my third radiation treatment this afternoon.  They are going well so far, but it is still very early.  For treatment, I have to raise my arms over my head and grasp handlebars, turn my head to the left, and lie still for about 10 minutes while the radiation kills cells within a targeted area of my body.  The treatment is painless, but sometimes, if I focus real hard, I can feel a little tingle in the area being radiated.  So far, I've tolerated it well.  I still have numbness on my right side from my mastectomy in May, but now that I've started radiation, I have some itching way beneath the skin in that area.  That's very uncomfortable since it's still numb, but itchy underneath at the same time.  Plus, I can't scratch that area.  After treatment, I feel slightly tired/woozy for a few minutes, but that's about it for now.  The medical staff is very punctual and friendly.  I'm in and out of there in about 15 minutes each day.

Please keep me in your prayers.  I ask that you pray for precision during my treatments (we certainly don't want any organs affected), for any cancer cells that remain to be zapped quickly and completely, for my skin to tolerate the treatment well for these 7 weeks, and for me to meditate on the Lord instead of allowing life issues to stress me each day.

I have my herceptin infusion this week.  I can't believe it's already been 3 weeks since my last one.  I don't have to see Dr. Tauer this time, so it should be a fairly quick visit - just blood work and treatment.

Race for the Cure - Arkansas

I had BIG fun at the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Little Rock this weekend!  I tell you when you wear survivor gear, you really do get the star treatment.  :-)  I plan to participate in the Memphis race on the 30th as well.  Here are some photos:

Radiation Schedule

I had my simulation Friday where I was scanned, marked, and tattooed for my radiation treatments.  The tattoos were small, but painful.  I'm glad I won't have to do that again.  I will begin treatments Wednesday, October 13th.  They will be daily (weekdays) for 33 treatments.  My last treatment should be December 1st - unless I get of schedule for some reason.  I will miss treatment Thursday and Friday of Thanksgiving week because the office will be closed.  That should be the only holiday delay.  The risks are: burning, fatigue, low white and red blood count, and increased risk of lymphadema.  Overall, though, it should be a lot easier on my body than chemo. 

Reality

Today, I had a consultation with the newest member of my medical team, Dr. Farmer.  He was very caring, very thorough, and very young!  He's my radiation oncologist.  It's really amazing to me how these doctors say the same things over and over, but when I'm sitting there hearing it for the first time, it's like I'm the only patient they've ever had.  You'd never know their speech was routine.  :-)  This doctor did something I've never experienced before.  At the end of the visit, he asked me if I'd mind if we had a prayer.  Of course I didn't mind, so he took my hand and prayed for all my doctors (including himself), my treatment, my health, my family, and my marriage.  No kidding!  That was really cool.  Terry and I were surprised by that.

I'll have a simulation Friday where they scan me, position me, mark me, and tattoo me for my treatments.  Afterward, I'll be all set to begin treatments early next week.  I will have 33 rounds instead of 30.  We discussed the risks and the side effects.

Since the beginning, it seems that things have gone at lightening speed; but now, things have slowed down as I approach the end of my treatment.  It's kind of scary as I get close to the "wait and see" mode.  After radiation, Dr. Tauer will do a CT scan and a PET scan (detects any cancer in the body).  This will be the tell-all test.  It should happen soon after Thanksgiving.  I was not told until today that I am a high risk for recurrence.  I already knew that, but no one had come out and said it.  Most people I know discovered their cancer at stage 0, 1 or 2.  I don't think I know anyone who had a tumor as large as mine was and that grew so quickly.  When you add lymph node involvement to the mix, it really is serious business.  Lately, I've been thinking about those things.  I'm not depressed by this... just facing the reality of it all.

On a bright note, I'm feeling really good!  Four weeks post-chemo feels great.  I'm not experiencing much pain at all.  My head is itching quite a bit, so I know it's the hair coming back in.  I still have some fatigue, and that will probably be worse with radiation and months thereafter, but rest should help with that.  So... here are my prayer requests for now:

- continued spiritual strength
- blood pressure (it's been high the past two weeks for some reason)
- for my body to tolerate radiation well
- all cancer will be killed through my treatments
- for God to be glorified through my life each day