Reality

Today, I had a consultation with the newest member of my medical team, Dr. Farmer.  He was very caring, very thorough, and very young!  He's my radiation oncologist.  It's really amazing to me how these doctors say the same things over and over, but when I'm sitting there hearing it for the first time, it's like I'm the only patient they've ever had.  You'd never know their speech was routine.  :-)  This doctor did something I've never experienced before.  At the end of the visit, he asked me if I'd mind if we had a prayer.  Of course I didn't mind, so he took my hand and prayed for all my doctors (including himself), my treatment, my health, my family, and my marriage.  No kidding!  That was really cool.  Terry and I were surprised by that.

I'll have a simulation Friday where they scan me, position me, mark me, and tattoo me for my treatments.  Afterward, I'll be all set to begin treatments early next week.  I will have 33 rounds instead of 30.  We discussed the risks and the side effects.

Since the beginning, it seems that things have gone at lightening speed; but now, things have slowed down as I approach the end of my treatment.  It's kind of scary as I get close to the "wait and see" mode.  After radiation, Dr. Tauer will do a CT scan and a PET scan (detects any cancer in the body).  This will be the tell-all test.  It should happen soon after Thanksgiving.  I was not told until today that I am a high risk for recurrence.  I already knew that, but no one had come out and said it.  Most people I know discovered their cancer at stage 0, 1 or 2.  I don't think I know anyone who had a tumor as large as mine was and that grew so quickly.  When you add lymph node involvement to the mix, it really is serious business.  Lately, I've been thinking about those things.  I'm not depressed by this... just facing the reality of it all.

On a bright note, I'm feeling really good!  Four weeks post-chemo feels great.  I'm not experiencing much pain at all.  My head is itching quite a bit, so I know it's the hair coming back in.  I still have some fatigue, and that will probably be worse with radiation and months thereafter, but rest should help with that.  So... here are my prayer requests for now:

- continued spiritual strength
- blood pressure (it's been high the past two weeks for some reason)
- for my body to tolerate radiation well
- all cancer will be killed through my treatments
- for God to be glorified through my life each day