Surgery Finally Scheduled

I met with Dr. Ver Halen Tuesday afternoon to discuss my abdominal CT results and my upcoming DIEP flap surgery.  The scan was good.  He says I have a very good artery that he can use without any problem, and my skin looks good enough to have the surgery in early June.

The next day, the scheduler called to tell me my surgery is scheduled for July 15.  Wow!!!!  That late?  At first I wasn't pleased with such a late date.  She said Dr. V is very booked and that was the earliest available.  She marked my file to move the date up if someone cancels.

Now that I've thought about it, I see some positives about having a late surgery date.  The upside is that we may be able to take a vacation in early July - right before my surgery.  The girls would have to miss church camp though.  But at least my entire summer wouldn't be spent cooped up like last summer was.  The down side is I won't be in any shape to help Rachel move into the dorm in mid-August.

No matter when it takes place, I'm just thankful to have this option and to have health insurance that pays for it.  :-) 

Diagnosis - One Year Later

One year ago today, Monday, April 5, 2010, I answered the telephone around 8:30am.  The call was from Dr. Patterson.  I had awaited this call all weekend, for he was calling to give me my biopsy results – whether they were positive or negative.

I can almost remember the conversation verbatim.  He said he had “received the results from the lab, but it was not good news.”  He said the biopsy revealed cancer calls in my breast tumor.  He actually got the call on Saturday, but didn’t want to “spoil my Easter Sunday”.  I don’t recall what I said, but I think all I said was “Oh my goodness” or “Oh no”… or something like that. 

In a sense, it seems like that was a long time ago, but on the other hand, it seems like only yesterday.  The past year has been a roller coaster ride for me, but without the exuberance.  :-)  I’ve felt shocked, fearful, sad, stressed, confused, loved, lonely, and peaceful.  Physically, I’ve felt pain, fatigue, nausea, numbness, and tingling…and some days I’ve felt quite normal. By the way, I’ve come to appreciate those days very much.

All in all, it’s been a good year.  God has healed me and has carried me through the first year, A.C. (after cancer), and I know He’ll continue to walk with me beyond.  “Once a cancer patient, always a cancer patient”, I’ve been told.  I know my life will not be the “same”.  Every unusual pain I feel will lead to worry.  Every story of relapse will humble me greatly.  Every time I hear of someone dying from cancer, I will shudder.  But for now, I’m in remission and I feel good.  I’ll take it! And I’ll praise God for it!

Last Year This Time...

...was Easter weekend, and my last weekend B.C. (before cancer).  Who knew that my life would change so much after that?

On My Mind - Psalm 23

I've read this chapter multiple times and have even committed it to memory, but lately it has been on my mind.  Here are my thoughts this afternoon as I meditate on the 23rd Psalm:

Psalm 23

(with my own personal annotations)

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

(Why should I ever complain?)

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

(Why should I ever stress?)

³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.

(Why should I ever feel lost?)

⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

(Why should I ever be afraid?)

⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.

(Why should I ever lack confidence?)

⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

(Why should I ever stop following You?)

Zyan M.

My cousin is pregnant with her first child and due April 15th.  We just learned that the unborn baby has the chromosomal disorder, Trisomy 18, also called "Edwards Syndrome".  The family is devastated.  Zyan is not expected to survive birth, but it has been decided to "let nature take its course".  Please pray for my cousin Cresha, the grandparents, and for baby Zyan - for peace for all and comfort for Zyan. 

42nd Birthday

Today is my 42nd birthday.  Birthdays hold a whole new meaning for me now.  When I consider that this time last year, I had NO idea that I was walking around with cancer and that my life would forever be changed, I realize how fragile and how precious life is.  On March 18, 2010, I noticed a lump.  A few days later, I decided to call my GYN.  The rest is history.  Had I not done that, I may not be here today.

That's so humbling!  God saw fit to keep me here a little while longer.  I'm honored that He has entrusted me with more time...with another birthday.

Still Here

I'm still "resting" and healing before the big surgery.  Well, I rest sometimes, but life is just so busy.  Emotionally, I've had a few difficult days lately, and when I'm feeling down, I don't like to blog.  I'm doing much better now, so please keep me in your prayers.