Last Year This Time...

...was Easter weekend, and my last weekend B.C. (before cancer).  Who knew that my life would change so much after that?

On My Mind - Psalm 23

I've read this chapter multiple times and have even committed it to memory, but lately it has been on my mind.  Here are my thoughts this afternoon as I meditate on the 23rd Psalm:

Psalm 23

(with my own personal annotations)

¹ The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.

(Why should I ever complain?)

² He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

(Why should I ever stress?)

³ he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
   for his name’s sake.

(Why should I ever feel lost?)

⁴ Even though I walk
   through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
   for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
   they comfort me.

(Why should I ever be afraid?)

⁵ You prepare a table before me
   in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
   my cup overflows.

(Why should I ever lack confidence?)

⁶ Surely your goodness and love will follow me
   all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD
   forever.

(Why should I ever stop following You?)

Zyan M.

My cousin is pregnant with her first child and due April 15th.  We just learned that the unborn baby has the chromosomal disorder, Trisomy 18, also called "Edwards Syndrome".  The family is devastated.  Zyan is not expected to survive birth, but it has been decided to "let nature take its course".  Please pray for my cousin Cresha, the grandparents, and for baby Zyan - for peace for all and comfort for Zyan. 

42nd Birthday

Today is my 42nd birthday.  Birthdays hold a whole new meaning for me now.  When I consider that this time last year, I had NO idea that I was walking around with cancer and that my life would forever be changed, I realize how fragile and how precious life is.  On March 18, 2010, I noticed a lump.  A few days later, I decided to call my GYN.  The rest is history.  Had I not done that, I may not be here today.

That's so humbling!  God saw fit to keep me here a little while longer.  I'm honored that He has entrusted me with more time...with another birthday.

Still Here

I'm still "resting" and healing before the big surgery.  Well, I rest sometimes, but life is just so busy.  Emotionally, I've had a few difficult days lately, and when I'm feeling down, I don't like to blog.  I'm doing much better now, so please keep me in your prayers.

Reconstruction Update

I've decided on the DIEP flap procedure.  The surgeon wants to wait until June to do the surgery - six months after radiation.  Today, I had a cat scan of my abdomen done in preparation for the DIEP surgery.  I will meet with the surgeon again soon to discuss the scan results and schedule the surgery.  For now, I keep waiting...

Consultation With DIEP Doc

I met with the DIEP flap specialist this morning to discuss the procedure and my candidacy for it.  I liked him a lot.  My first impression was that he's very young.  He was knowledgeable, kind, and thorough.  I didn't like having to have photos taken, but I know that's standard procedure.  I prayed before the consultation - for clear direction as I choose between the TRAM and DIEP flaps.  I left with no reason not to choose the better, high-tech DIEP procedure.

The surgery would take place downtown at Methodist, which is about an hour from home.  It would take approximately 6 hours to complete.  I'd be in ICU for 2 days and in the hospital for 5 days - barring no complications.  The surgery is not very risky.  In fact, it has a 97% success rate.  Yeah, that's impressive.  This doctor does these procedures very often - in fact he's the only surgeon in TN and nearby states who does this procedure.  He says he's only had 1 case where the flap died (due to failed blood flow).  I asked him what happens in that case and he told me they'd have to do a latissimus dorsal flap in those rare cases.  I know that probably means NOTHING to most people, but I know exactly what that means.  It means they'd have to do another surgery, taking tissue and skin from the back.  I feel comfortable that I'll be among the 97% success stories though.  :-)

Bottom line, it feels like a no-brainer.  This is a better option.  I can keep my abdominal muscles intact.  I am healthy enough to be a candidate for the surgery.  Insurance coverage is not a problem.  I guess all systems are "go" after I pass a CT Scan of my abdomen to make sure I have no blood flow issues or hernias from previous surgeries.  That is scheduled for the 24th.  After that checks out okay, as he expects it will, I will schedule the surgery for late May or June.  He requires that I wait until 6 months post-radiation.

I can't say that I feel 100% sure that this is God's clear direction, but I don't feel that there's any reason not to have the procedure.  Regardless, I'll wait a few days before canceling my Monday appointment with the TRAM flap surgeons.  I think I'm just a bit overwhelmed about the ICU part.  Oh, and the symmetrical procedure on the other side would be done 3 months after the DIEP as an outpatient procedure.  With the TRAM, it would be done the same day.  I guess at this point, I'm 95% sure I'll be doing the DIEP around June.  Please keep me in your prayers.